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Comparison, the Thief of Joy

Stress Free Bride

Comparison kills dreams

Apps are great.  Facebook groups are great.  Online forums are great. There is value in hearing about the successes, mistakes, and frustrations of other brides. It feels good to commune with people going through the same thing as you.  There is a kinship there. I get that. But be aware of the pitfalls as well. Bride to bride support can sometimes only add to the stress of wedding planning, and who needs that?

The top 3 problems with bride-to-bride support

When a bride crowd-sources ideas for her wedding planning online via Facebook or some other online forum, she doesn’t take in mind that:

  1. The other Brides who give her ideas may not live in her same area so she may not have access to the suggestions or solutions that the other brides give.

  2. Prices are different all over the country. A catering job for 150 guests will have different price points in Chicago, Atlanta, and Boise for the same level of service. Be aware.

  3. One bride’s expectations might be completely different than yours and her priorities are totally different than yours.  Her perfect solution could be the most disappointing thing for you.

Ultimately, when a bride asks for validation of her ideas in an online forum she’s communicating she’s not confident in herself or her own ideas.  A better approach is, “This is my idea. How can I make this work?”

You have to be confident in creating your own vision. Then put the blinders on so you don’t look to the left and right comparing yourself to everyone along the way.  If you are having trouble creating a vision for your wedding, consider trying this vision exercise.

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About the author:

Hope Venetta, of the Stress Free Bride, shares insider event planning secrets based on 25 years of experience. She couples event planning know-how with coping skills learned through Peer Counseling training and study in Marriage and Family Therapy.  Hope assists couples as they navigate what research calls one of the top 10 most stressful things a person experiences - getting married. Couples learn from Hope through live events, webinars, and online courses.

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